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A sad story indeed – I have a close friend who is a doctor – a rectal specialist – deals only with rear end problems – hemorrhoids, extreme constipation, blood clots and that sort of thing – I met him a couple weeks ago and had lunch with him – we talked about different things – I noticed that he was somewhat uptight and nervous – I asked how his practice was going – he said that he was extremely busy – on average he examined about 20 rear ends a day – gee I said – doesn’t that get a little boring after awhile – yes, he said – with rear ends – once you see one you seen them all – like a circus – they kinda all look alike – the only difference is that small are small and firm and others are huge and flabby – like jello –

He said a couple days ago a real fat lady – one of those 300 pounders – came in – she thought that she had hemorrhoids – Doc said that when he tried to separate the two mountains and take a look – she let one fly – nearly took his head off – couldn’t see for awhile – now when he examines one of those big ones he wears a welder’s helmet – wow

Then he confided in me – he told me that when he goes to bed a night and closes his eyes all he sees is rear ends – some smile at him – some even talk to him – once in awhile he as a nightmare where a bunch of rear ends are chasing him around all night – he then told me that one day he was having lunch with his family – and when he looked across the table at his wife he didn’t recognize her – she had a face like a rear end – smiling – and his kids looked like little rear ends eating – I told him that he definitely needed a break – he should take one of those fly-in fishing trips up in Canada – it would do him good – he said that he might some day but right now had too many appointments – a lot of hemorrhoids – people are sitting in front of their computers too much -

Yesterday I met a mutual acquaintance – he told me the doc had a nervous breakdown – it happened right in his office – in the examination room – he was examining some guy who was all plugged up – couldn’t go – the guy should have told doc that he had accidently swallowed his glass eye -
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